I stayed with Karol and Magdalena from the 17th July to the 6th of September. On the 17th of August Lilli joined as a second Au-Pair.
Lilli and I have talked a lot about writing a review and what we would put in it, and Magdalena sadly proved us right, as they cannot handle feedback at all. Lilli and I still decided to give our feedback, as we
… read more want to give other workawayers an honest and factual impression of the work as an Au-Pair for this family.
The main problem we had, was that they had much higher expectations than their profile stated we both applied. The profile stated (, when we applied,) as the needed help “Engage and play with Hania and Kubus” and “Assist with light household chores related to the children”. After the first day it was the norm for me to find the leftover dinner from the parents in the kitchen, coffee on the floor and half empty mugs all throughout the house. As the parents expected the house to be clean on arrival, which they implied multiple times, and they did not clean up after themselves often, it was clear to me, that this was also one of my tasks. At first I thought it was just because they were stressed, because their restaurant was quit busy at the start, but even when they worked less, they often left a mess for me/Lilli to clean up. We did not mind helping extra when it came to the laundry from the parents, hovering daily, walking the dog etc.. Even when the mother often came home later than she promised in the morning I did not complain, and tried to handle it as good as I could.
But cleaning up almost daily after adults who had the time and capacity to do so themselves was not something Lilli and I applied for, so we decided to give the feedback to Magdalena and Karol while we were there. We both wouldn’t have applied if we would have known that this was required and just wanted to give them the opportunity to change their profile, so that future workawayers are better prepared. They refused to understand us, and this discussion conversation escalated and made us so uncomfortable, that we arranged to leave the next day. Magdalena also wanted us to leave, but expected us to stay until it would fit her schedule, which we did not do, as we just wanted to leave as quick as possible, as we felt really unwelcomed. It was hard to communicate our thoughts with them as they quickly get defensive.
I saw that they changed their requirements, so the quotes are taken from a screenshot made of their profile before they changed it. Maybe the change in their profile shows that they just needed some time to understand our point, and hopefully they will be more honest about the work they expect in the future.
This also regards work hours. When I got there, they had a festival in the town they worked, so the restaurant was quite busy, and I made twenty over hours in the first week. Those were paid, but I still would have appreciated a heads up, as I was left alone with the children on the first day I met them for around nine to ten hours. I made it clear beforehand that I had no experience with children that young.
Because the time I was supposed to be looking after the children was not clearly structured and plans changed spontaneously, it was hard for me to do other things I planned to do in my free time (finishing college essays etc.).
In her reply to Lilly Magdalena wrote, that we were treated like family, but we did not feel that way. When we were at the restaurant (, not regularly but just a handful of times), it was our job to look after the kids. I went on trips with them twice when I was there, both times to the lake (on my days off), where I was still asked to look after the children. We were driven to and picked up at the nearest town once, and not regularly. And the “holidays” we took, were planned between two weekends, where we were asked to leave, so that family members or friend could have our rooms. It was Magdalenas idea for us to be away in between the weekend, which was nice.
But additional to that there was barely an interest in our private life and even my birthday wasn’t mentioned, although it was in the calendar. I did not have high expectation to be treated like a family member, but saying that they did treat us that way, is not fair to what happened.
Lastly want to set their comments about Lilli straight, as I see it as unfair to call her unfit as an Au-Pair. She was amazing with the children. She handled emotional outbursts amazingly, and had a big impact on the children’s behaviour in the short time she was there (teaching them to clean up after themselves, saying please an thank you more often, handling their fear of insects, making up games with them etc.). She gave it her all, to make sure the children were happy, well entertained and good cared for.
I really wish the family the best and hope that they can find someone who fits their expectations, by being more honest about what they need and also about what they offer. Neither mine nor Lillis feedback was meant as an attack, but just as constructive criticism and a factual input for Workawayers trying to apply to this family. But by the message Magdalena send Lilli afterwards, and the reply she wrote her I believe it proves that they are not hosts who are easy to communicate with, which for me is one of the requirements a workaway host should meet. Hopefully this was just an issue we had with them and future Au-Pairs won’t feel that way.
Sustainability
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